You know, Gods temple doesn't neccessarily have to be a BUILDING. I realized that this morning. I went to the beach at 5:30am this morning, in order to do some fishing. Now, we were going to Palm Beach Island to do this. And those who know...know.
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I didn't think I'd care. I didn't hink I'd care when my father died. We haven't spoken a word to each other in over 3 years. Not since the Bears/Colts Super Bowl. Suffice it to say that my dad, being born and raised in Chi-Town, was a diehard Bears fan.
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Are all of these women that Tiger cheated with "Victims"? I just watched a CNN report and there was an attorney who represents one of the women on the show and, well, she kept referring to her client as a "victim". I find that to be 100% BULL #@^#.
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That is the question of the day. Am I angry? Or is my state of anger a symptom of depression? I simply do not know. Nor do I know if I WANT to know.
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How does one's life end up being sold in a Garage Sale to a complete stranger? That's the question i'm asking myself right now. And really, this is an amazing story.
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My name is Chucky Wonder and I have just been officially declared Insane by a 3 Judge Panel that doesn't know what Insane is. I mean, hey, just because I shot the clerk in 7-11 for overcharging me for my Slurpee and Gummi Bears doesn't mean i'm insane.
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Okay, this is just a warning. I am going to write a "Newsvine" book. It's going to be a continuing saga. Whenever I am tired and grouchy -or just plain pissed off- i'm going to write a chapter. Or 2. Maybe even 3. Depends just how pissed I am.
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Theres nothing trivial about this and the question is simple. What would your legacy be if you died today? It doesn't matter if you are 95 or 25.
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I am a 39 year old ex con who has lived more than 1/2 his life incarcerated. I started my life of crime at the age of 12 and by the age of 15, I was already charged as an adult and was sentenced to adult prison.
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Damn Dolfan I thought I was listening to my son explaining how prison/guards really are from when he was IN.
That's exactly as he explained the real prison life and told me that it is nothing like what I might see on television.— Jo~Jo
I spent a few days in the intake center for arrests I had in the past, an I got a tiny glimpse of the way staff treat people. It in no way compares to your experiences, giving the time you've spent. but I do see what your saying.
I also had a friend that did 2+ years. he'd write to me, telling me the @!$%# that goes on....on one occasion he sat down to eat..an found a bug in his applesause that he amost ate (had he not looked at the spoon) he claimed to me that it was a 'cockroach' and he freaked out,tossed his tray...etc.
how did staff handle that?--- the outburst sent him to AD. Seg.!!!
another time he wrote that some of the most basic things we have is like gold. toothpaste, toilet paper,...an at a time when cigarettes were allowed he saw a guy get his cheek cut open because they owed a pack!!
As you have said, there is very little you have inside, so I see how those things become valued. he'd encourage me to write back, cause something as simple as a letter meant a lot.
I seen for myself that staff have no regard for imates, basically because your an offender. all you are to them is a piece of @!$%#, with a #. I kept myself from flipping-out by reminding myself why I'm here, and that this place is not meant to be nice. beside having said that, I dont know why (for them) showing commom curtousy,an looking into some relivant questions I had about my bail! Even when just asked the 'time' a response was 'what the f*** you care, got somewere to be?!! It is interesting, because had these people been on a street somewhere they would not say THAT!! SO,when I hear about staff assault's I laugh!! or even when cops on the beat get killed, during a simple traffic stop I wonder why.
I could and should write a book on life behind the walls. I look back on those years spent on the inside and it truly amazes me that I not only came out of it sane, but in the end stronger. Trust me when I say, what you see on Lock-Up IS NOT the whole story. I love when they show the Cell Extractions and they ALWAYS say that the inmate is being unruly or violent. But as you asked, WHAT CAUSED them to be set off. Contrary to what the guards and administrators like to say and make you believe, they (Guards) are 9 times out of 10 the CAUSE of why the inmate is snapping. They are a part of the problem, NOT part of the solution. I was cell extradicted at least a dozen times over my years inside and not ONCE was it not caused by the initial actions of security. Although some CO's are professional, the fact is most of them are uneducated and can't get a job anywhere else. That's FACT. VERY FEW Correctional Officers are college educated. Now, here is an example of one of my extractions.
The mail was delivered to the unit at roughly noon. My cell was directly in front of the Officers desk and I could SEE a letter that was for me. Well, after 4 or 5 HOURS of seeing the mail on the desk, I asked when he was going to pass it out. His answer was "WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT". Okaaaayyyy....Well, here we are after ANOTHER 2 hours and still no mail. I ask again. THIS time he answers me by throwing the mail in the garbage can. THE SAME GARBAGE CAN THAT HE SPIT HIS TOBACCO JUICE IN ALL DAY. Well...I went off. And what happens? He calls for the Captain and say's i'm being a problem. The Captain comes and I tell him what happened. His response? HE LAUGHED. They sat out in the office laughing. So THEN they tell me that since I want to make an issue out of MY MAIL, they are going to search me and my cell.
IT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Point blank, right or wrong on my part, IT WAS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Well, you've seen the rest on Lock-Up a million times. And that's always the part they show you. The part when they say "Last warning Michael! Cuff up or we're coming in"! And they act like they dont want to do it. And they blame you for instigating it.
99 out of 100 times it's that type of scene that causes an inmate to act stupid. It's VERY rare that an inmate just act's stupid for the sake of being stupid. Now, you might be asking yoursaelf if MAIL is WORTH that? Well, think about this for a second.
You are in a 12 X 12 cell for 23 1/2 hours out of the day. You have no TV and no radio. A new book is rare to find and when you do find it, you absolutely kill it. You can't help yourself, as it's THE ONLY MIND STIMULATION you've had in weeks. You basically have no human contact, other than with staff. So basically, you have no human contact. Suddenly something as simple as MAIL has taken on a whole new meaning. (I used to subscribe to CATALOGS just to get something to read) Mail isn't JUST mail. Mail is your lifeline and in some cases, your sanity. It's ALL you have.
You have very little in prison. (And rightfully so) And what little you do have means ALOT to you. Staff LOVES to mess with your property. They love to tear it up during searches and they'll confiscate something in a heartbeat. More chaos is created by staff's very liberal use of authority than anything else. They ABUSE the petty authority they have and it's all covered up behind that well known blue shield of silence.
And here's something else. Most of the time, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. The Grievance Forms they love to tell you to fill out? USELESS. I can count the APPROVED Grievances I saw in 18+ years on 1 hand. Who answers the Grievances? STAFF. Who is staff going to listen to and believe? THE STAFF MEMBER BEING GRIEVED. They can't rule against the staff member even if they wanted to, since that would make them an outcast and THAT can cost them their life.
And DISCIPLINARY REPORTS are no different. 1 staff members word is all it takes to get you slammed in the hole. 1. ONE. You can have 50 inmate witnesses that say you are telling the truth and it wouldn't make a bit of a difference. Your going to the hole and the Disciplinary Report will stick. PERIOD. Your automatically lying because you are an inmate. Their automatically telling the truth because they are an officer. That's IT. That's the way it is.
Now, remember the riots they showed at Pelican Bay? Very selective reporting there. Funny how they left out the fact that the JUSTICE DEPARTMENT went inside to investigate what was going on there and lo and behold if it didn't come out that STAFF was not only instigating the violence between the races, some staff was also supplying the weapons used. (Black CO's would supply the blacks, white CO's the whites and Latin CO's the latins)
And Corcoran? Man, let's not even go there. They were literally staging Gladiator style fights there. They literally boiled an inmate in oil as revenge for his stabbing a guard. Several guards even went to Sacramento to report the abuses and what happened? THEY lost their jobs and were forced to leave their homes because of threats by other guards.
Now, how many staff members lost their jobs over all the nonsense going on? NONE. Zero. Zip. Zilch. NADA. A few were reassigned or moved to a different unit, but overall absolutely nothing happened to any of the above.
The simple fact is, more crap is caused by a staff members nonsense than anything else.
Now, please do not take me wrong. I am not talking about INMATE ON INMATE stuff. Most of that is simply inmate nonsense and...well, most inmates are not going to win any intelligence contest's. But when issues are between an inmate and a staff member, it is almost always created when an officer abuses an inmate in some kind of way.
A true convict goes out of his way to AVOID any contact with staff. They will YES SIR! their ass off just to get away from them. But some staff wont accept that and move on. They want to keep pushing you...to keep pushing buttons to make you blow. They CREATE the problem and then they blame YOU when the @!$%# hits the fan.
All i'm saying is, do not take what you see on Lock-Up as truth. It's only a small part of it.....
I do not have personal experience inside the Walls but I know some who are in the process. I appreciate your keeping it real for us in informing the uninformed about why the revolving door exists. I hope you write stories about some of your experiences. I am apalled by some of the scenes in lockup and wonder what really happens when the cameras aren't on. I wonder just what drove some of those guys into the frame of mind that causes those behaviors. I am appalled by the system of retribution rather than correction. I am appalled at how many of our present and former administration own stock in various aspects of the prison industrial complex. I am disgusted that the number of lawmakers who vote to discontinue rehabilitation programs that used to exist and vote for building more prisons. I am thoroughly dismayed at the poliferation laws and the willy-nilly enforcement of those laws. There is more but I will not burden you with more. Thank you for enlightening the unenlightened.
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